…people are utility monsters when it comes to themselves.

But something happens when you have children. This is how Erik Hoel begins this thoughtful conversation with EconTalk host Russ Roberts. According to new parent Hoel, life is no longer “a constant, almost exhausting game of optimization.” He has found a great relief in no longer being a utility monster. (Russ, in one of several nods to his granddaughter allows that eventually one might get to become a “fun monster.”)

This episode was inspired by a piece Hoel wrote on his Substack, in part bemoaning the vogue of media stories from people who regret having become parents. While Hoel (and Roberts) admit that there is some truth to the stories about the vagaries of parenting (domestic Gulag???), they both wonder why such stores haven’t prompted a mountain of replies about how great parenting is?

Let’s hear what you have to say. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below, or drop us a line at econlib@libertyfund.org. We love to hear from you.

 

 

1- Hoel says that becoming a parent has caused him to feel less jaded. What do you think he means by that, and how might this claim comport with your own experience? In a particularly lovely part of the conversation, Hoel recounts the joy of recounting “the lore of the world” to his son. (Hoel notes his fascination with whales, as Russ recounts his granddaughter’s with owls.) Says Hoel, “as you’re explaining these things, you begin to realize how absolutely crazy it is that we sort of live in a world of this much complexity and with this much background.”

What are some examples of such lore you’ve rediscovered when explaining it to a child?

Hoel offers a gentle critique of modern picture books, suggesting that earlier classics (think Jan Brett) offered much richer art. To what extent do you think that the more simplistic art (according to Hoel) in more modern picture books diminishes the wonder about “the lore of the world.” How much of this is related to the way in which we “read” such books to children?

 

2- Hoel and Roberts discuss the most recognized parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Which one do you think would be the most effective, and for what reasons? What should the goal of parenting be, and how does this affect the choice of parenting style? (Russ mentions the Pygmalion effect here, and both acknowledge the seemingly natural desire to instill our own preferences in our children.)

Hoel suggests real life parenting calls for selecting a strategy based on particular contexts? What are some examples of situations in which each of the above styles might be warranted? For those of you who are parents, how have you navigated this selection process?

 

3- The conversation turns toward education toward the end, with Roberts and Hoel discussing the education of some of the world’s great geniuses. (Hello, John Stuart Mill!) What lessons ought we to learn from the stories of those such as Mill and Terence Tao? How much of a child’s education should we “impose” on them? What should the role of parents in the education of their children?